It turns out the sperm’s biggest challenge isn’t reaching the egg. It’s penetrating the Apple App Store.
The life of a sperm is simultaneously full of hope (create life!) and
hindrance (tighty whities, alcohol, smoking). For Palestinian gaming studio PinchPoint, maker of mobile racing game Spermania, last week represented that duality: The game was both celebrated by the New Yorker and rejected from the Apple App Store for the forth time.
The fun game lets players race against other brave little sperm to be the one to create life.
The rejection wasn’t just difficult for the developer. The game’s lead sperm, Clark Staminate, received the sterilizing news with sadness. “Too often, the plight of the sperm goes unnoticed, and Spermania was our first chance to share our story. Apple cruelly neutered that dream,” said Mr. Staminate.
His persistence is unlikely to subside since a single sperm cell has tremendous memory — 37.5 MB’s worth.
Shortly after the rejection, Mr. Staminate made a final attempt to enter the store by cloaking himself in an ovular costume in order to sneak past Apple’s defenses. Unfortunately, his fidgitiness gave him away and he was rejected.
Despite the setback, Mr. Staminate vowed he would one day penetrate the Apple Store. “I’m used to swimming against the tide,” he said. “Apple may be a tough target – but there are 300 million of us. It’s just a matter of probability that we’ll break in.”